Freebsd Fortunes

Q:  How many Martians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:  One and a half.

Q:  How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:  One.  He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem
    to the earlier joke.

Q:  How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:  Three.  One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all those
    Californians trying to share the experience.

Q:  How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  Two.  One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub
    with brightly colored machine tools.

Q:  How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:  None.  The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out
    of the way.

Q:  What's a light-year?
A:  One-third less calories than a regular year.

Q:  Why did the tachyon cross the road?
A:  Because it was on the other side.

Q:  Why do ducks have flat feet?
A:  To stamp out forest fires.

Q:  Why do elephants have flat feet?
A:  To stamp out flaming ducks.

Q:  Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together?
A:  To prevent the sensible ones from going home.

Q: Somebody just posted that Roman Polanski directed Star Wars.  What
   should I do?

A: Post the correct answer at once!  We can't have people go on
   believing that!  Very good of you to spot this.  You'll probably be
   the only one to make the correction, so post as soon as you can.  No
   time to lose, so certainly don't wait a day, or check to see if
   somebody else has made the correction.

   And it's not good enough to send the message by mail.  Since you're
   the only one who really knows that it was Francis Coppola, you have
   to inform the whole net right away!

                -- Brad Templeton, "Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions
                   on Netiquette"