Freebsd Fortunes

The pitcher wound up and he flang the ball at the batter.  The batter
swang and missed.  The pitcher flang the ball again and this time the
batter connected.  He hit a high fly right to the center fielder.  The
center fielder was all set to catch the ball, but at the last minute
his eyes were blound by the sun and he dropped it.
                -- Dizzy Dean

The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.
                -- David Lardner

The polite thing to do has always been to address people as they wish
to be addressed, to treat them in a way they think dignified.  But it
is equally important to accept and tolerate different standards of
courtesy, not expecting everyone else to adapt to one's own
preferences.  Only then can we hope to restore the insult to its proper
social function of expressing true distaste.
                -- Judith Martin, "Miss Manners' Guide to
                   Excruciatingly Correct Behavior"

"The porcupine with the sharpest quills gets stuck on a tree more
often."

The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher,
        Were each of them once a kiddie.
A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature.
        Do I want one?  God Forbiddie!
                -- Ogden Nash

The President publicly apologized today to all those offended by his
brother's remark, "There's more Arabs in this country than there is
Jews!".  Those offended include Arabs, Jews, and English teachers.
                -- Baltimore, Channel 11 News, on Jimmy Carter

The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday
they might force their beliefs on us.
                -- Mario Cuomo

The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired
warranty.  Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by
changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped
marker.
                -- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"

The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to
constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every
appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA
statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant.  This
also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change.
                -- FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers

The primary requisite for any new tax law is for it to exempt enough
voters to win the next election.