Freebsd Fortunes

And so, men, we can see that human skin is an even more complex and
fascinating organ than we thought it was, and if we want to keep it
looking good, we have to care for it as though it were our own.  One
approach is to undergo a painful surgical procedure wherein your skin
is turned inside-out, so the young cells are on the outside, but then
of course you have the unpleasant side effect that your insides
gradually fill up with dead old cells and you explode.  So this
procedure is pretty much limited to top Hollywood stars for whom
youthful beauty is a career necessity, such as Elizabeth Taylor and
Orson Welles.
                -- Dave Barry, "Saving Face"

"...and the fully armed nuclear warheads, are, of course, merely a
courtesy detail."

And this is a table ma'am.  What in essence it consists of is a
horizontal rectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical
columnar supports, which we call legs.  The tables in this laboratory,
ma'am, are as advanced in design as one will find anywhere in the
world.
                -- Michael Frayn, "The Tin Men"

And yet, seasons must be taken with a grain of salt, for they too have
a sense of humor, as does history.  Corn stalks comedy, comedy stalks
tragedy, and this too is historic.  And yet, still, when corn meets
tragedy face to face, we have politics.
                -- Dalglish, Larsen and Sutherland, "Root Crops and
                   Ground Cover"

Andrea: Unhappy the land that has no heroes.
Galileo: No, unhappy the land that needs heroes.
                -- Bertolt Brecht, "Life of Galileo"

Angels we have heard on High
Tell us to go out and Buy.
                -- Tom Lehrer

Ankh if you love Isis.

Anoint, v.:
        To grease a king or other great functionary already
sufficiently slippery.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but
television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom
and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that
offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath.
                -- Dave Barry, "Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly
                   Do"