Freebsd Fortunes

Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun), n.:
        The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a
dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then
putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
                -- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

Cat, n.:
        Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer.

Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.
                -- Mark Twain

Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.

CChheecckk  yyoouurr  dduupplleexx  sswwiittcchh..

Cecil, you're my final hope
Of finding out the true Straight Dope
For I have been reading of Schrodinger's cat
But none of my cats are at all like that.
This unusual animal (so it is said)
Is simultaneously alive and dead!
What I don't understand is just why he
Can't be one or the other, unquestionably.
My future now hangs in between eigenstates.
In one I'm enlightened, in the other I ain't.
If *you* understand, Cecil, then show me the way
And rescue my psyche from quantum decay.
But if this queer thing has perplexed even you,
Then I will *and* I won't see you in Schrodinger's zoo.
                -- Randy F., Chicago, "The Straight Dope, a compendium
                   of human knowledge" by Cecil Adams

Celebrate Hannibal Day this year.  Take an elephant to lunch.

Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the
center of the universe.  The premise is wrong, but the navigation
works.  An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
                -- Kelvin Throop III

Census Taker to Housewife: Did you ever have the measles, and, if so,
how many?

Cerebus:        I'd love to lick apricot brandy out of your navel.
Jaka:           Look, Cerebus-- Jaka has to tell you ... something
Cerebus:        If Cerebus had a navel, would you lick apricot brandy
                out of it?
Jaka:           Ugh!
Cerebus:        You don't like apricot brandy?
                -- Cerebus #6, "The Secret"