Freebsd Fortunes
fortune: 1031 - 1040 of 3566 from freebsd fortunes
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Dec 17, 2017
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Freebsd Fortunes

Fortune: 1031 - 1040 of 3566 from Freebsd Fortunes

Freebsd Fortunes:  1031 of 3566

For my son, Robert, this is proving to be the high-point of his entire
life to date.  He has had his pajamas on for two, maybe three days
now.  He has the sense of joyful independence a 5-year-old child gets
when he suddenly realizes that he could be operating an acetylene torch
in the coat closet and neither parent [because of the flu] would have
the strength to object.  He has been foraging for his own food, which
means his diet consists entirely of "food" substances which are
advertised only on Saturday-morning cartoon shows; substances that are
the color of jukebox lights and that, for legal reasons, have their
names spelled wrong, as in New Creemy Chok-'n'-Cheez Lumps o' Froot
("part of this complete breakfast").
                -- Dave Barry, "Molecular Homicide"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1032 of 3566

For perfect happiness, remember two things:
        (1) Be content with what you've got.
        (2) Be sure you've got plenty.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1033 of 3566

For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say
"Canada".  Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.
                -- Sandra Gotlieb, wife of the Canadian ambassador to
                   the U.S.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1034 of 3566

For some reason, this fortune reminds everyone of Marvin Zelkowitz.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1035 of 3566

"For that matter, compare your pocket computer with the massive jobs of
a thousand years ago.  Why not, then, the last step of doing away with
computers altogether?"
                -- Jehan Shuman
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1036 of 3566

For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they
like.
                -- Abraham Lincoln
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1037 of 3566

"For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but
phone calls taper off."
                -- Johnny Carson
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1038 of 3566

For what it's worth, if you -can- get Michelle Pfeiffer to model
a latex daemon suit for the catalog, I strongly suggest you do.
Breasts can sell anything. Shiny red latex body suits start
religions.

                -- Brian McGroarty <bvmcg@yahoo.com>
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1039 of 3566

For years a secret shame destroyed my peace --
I'd not read Eliot, Auden or MacNiece.
But now I think a thought that brings me hope:
Neither had Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Pope.
                -- Justin Richardson.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1040 of 3566

For your penance, say five Hail Marys and one loud BLAH!
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