|Freebsd Fortunes: 1031 of 3566|
For my son, Robert, this is proving to be the high-point of his entire
life to date. He has had his pajamas on for two, maybe three days
now. He has the sense of joyful independence a 5-year-old child gets
when he suddenly realizes that he could be operating an acetylene torch
in the coat closet and neither parent [because of the flu] would have
the strength to object. He has been foraging for his own food, which
means his diet consists entirely of "food" substances which are
advertised only on Saturday-morning cartoon shows; substances that are
the color of jukebox lights and that, for legal reasons, have their
names spelled wrong, as in New Creemy Chok-'n'-Cheez Lumps o' Froot
("part of this complete breakfast").
-- Dave Barry, "Molecular Homicide"
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1032 of 3566|
For perfect happiness, remember two things:
(1) Be content with what you've got.
(2) Be sure you've got plenty.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1033 of 3566|
For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say
"Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.
-- Sandra Gotlieb, wife of the Canadian ambassador to
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1034 of 3566|
For some reason, this fortune reminds everyone of Marvin Zelkowitz.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1035 of 3566|
"For that matter, compare your pocket computer with the massive jobs of
a thousand years ago. Why not, then, the last step of doing away with
-- Jehan Shuman
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1036 of 3566|
For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they
-- Abraham Lincoln
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1037 of 3566|
"For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but
phone calls taper off."
-- Johnny Carson
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1038 of 3566|
For what it's worth, if you -can- get Michelle Pfeiffer to model
a latex daemon suit for the catalog, I strongly suggest you do.
Breasts can sell anything. Shiny red latex body suits start
-- Brian McGroarty <email@example.com>
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1039 of 3566|
For years a secret shame destroyed my peace --
I'd not read Eliot, Auden or MacNiece.
But now I think a thought that brings me hope:
Neither had Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Pope.
-- Justin Richardson.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1040 of 3566|
For your penance, say five Hail Marys and one loud BLAH!