Freebsd Fortunes

"I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone
has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top."
                -- English Professor, Ohio University

I am so optimistic about beef prices that I've just leased a pot roast
with an option to buy.

"I am the mother of all things, and all things should wear a sweater."

"I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of
the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for
you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway."
                -- Dr. Dwight Van de Vate, Professor of Philosophy,
                   University of Tennessee at Knoxville

"I argue very well.  Ask any of my remaining friends.  I can win an
argument on any topic, against any opponent.  People know this, and
steer clear of me at parties.  Often, as a sign of their great respect,
they don't even invite me."
                -- Dave Barry

"I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean."
                -- G. K. Chesterton

"I belong to no organized party.  I am a Democrat."
                -- Will Rogers

"I bet the human brain is a kludge."
                -- Marvin Minsky

I brake for chezlogs!

I call them as I see them.  If I can't see them, I make them up.
                -- Biff Barf