Freebsd Fortunes

I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamt that I was reading on,
so I woke up from sheer boredom.

I for one cannot protest the recent M.T.A. fare hike and the
accompanying promises that this would in no way improve service.  For
the transit system, as it now operates, has hidden advantages that
can't be measured in monetary terms.

Personally, I feel that it is well worth 75 cents or even $1 to have
that unimpeachable excuse whenever I am late to anything: "I came by
subway."  Those four words have such magic in them that if Godot should
someday show up and mumble them, any audience would instantly
understand his long delay.

"I found out why my car was humming.  It had forgotten the words."

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very
reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."
                -- Gotama Buddha

I gave up Smoking, Drinking and Sex.  It was the most *horrifying* 20
minutes of my life!

'I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
                -- Mae West

I get up each morning, gather my wits.
        Pick up the paper, read the obits.
If I'm not there I know I'm not dead.
        So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.

I get up each morning, gather my wits.
Pick up the paper, read the obits.
If I'm not there I know I'm not dead.
So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.

Oh, how do I know my youth is all spent?
My get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went.
But in spite of it all, I'm able to grin,
And think of the places my get-up has been.
                -- Pete Seeger

"I had to censor everything my sons watched ... even on the Mary Tyler
Moore show I heard the word 'damn'!"
                -- Mary Lou Bax

"I had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense."