Freebsd Fortunes

"I found out why my car was humming.  It had forgotten the words."

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very
reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."
                -- Gotama Buddha

I gave up Smoking, Drinking and Sex.  It was the most *horrifying* 20
minutes of my life!

'I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
                -- Mae West

I get up each morning, gather my wits.
        Pick up the paper, read the obits.
If I'm not there I know I'm not dead.
        So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.

I get up each morning, gather my wits.
Pick up the paper, read the obits.
If I'm not there I know I'm not dead.
So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.

Oh, how do I know my youth is all spent?
My get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went.
But in spite of it all, I'm able to grin,
And think of the places my get-up has been.
                -- Pete Seeger

"I had to censor everything my sons watched ... even on the Mary Tyler
Moore show I heard the word 'damn'!"
                -- Mary Lou Bax

"I had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense."

"I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day cause that means
it's going to be up all night."
                -- Steven Wright

"I hate quotations."
                -- Ralph Waldo Emerson