Freebsd Fortunes

"I have just read your lousy review buried in the back pages.  You
sound like a frustrated old man who never made a success, an
eight-ulcer man on a four-ulcer job, and all four ulcers working.  I
have never met you, but if I do you'll need a new nose and plenty of
beefsteak and perhaps a supporter below.  Westbrook Pegler, a
guttersnipe, is a gentleman compared to you.  You can take that as more
of an insult than as a reflection on your ancestry."
                -- President Harry S Truman

I have learned
To spell hors d'oeuvres
Which still grates on
Some people's n'oeuvres.
                -- Warren Knox

"I have made mistakes but I have never made the mistake of claiming
that I have never made one."
                -- James Gordon Bennett

"I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to
make it shorter."
                -- Blaise Pascal

I have more humility in my little finger than you have in your whole
BODY!
                -- from "Cerebus" #82

"I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer."
                -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"

"I have the simplest tastes.  I am always satisfied with the best."
                -- Oscar Wilde

"I have the world's largest collection of seashells.  I keep it
scattered around the beaches of the world ... Perhaps you've seen it.
                -- Steven Wright

"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."
                -- Prof. Romas Aleliunas, CS 435

"I have two very rare photographs: one is a picture of Houdini locking
his keys in his car; the other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell
beating up a child."
                -- Steven Wright