Freebsd Fortunes

Speaking as someone who has delved into the intricacies of PL/I, I am
sure that only Real Men could have written such a machine-hogging,
cycle-grabbing, all-encompassing monster.  Allocate an array and free
the middle third?  Sure!  Why not?  Multiply a character string times a
bit string and assign the result to a float decimal?  Go ahead!  Free a
controlled variable procedure parameter and reallocate it before
passing it back?  Overlay three different types of variable on the same
memory location?  Anything you say!  Write a recursive macro?  Well,
no, but Real Men use rescan.  How could a language so obviously
designed and written by Real Men not be intended for Real Man use?

Speaking of Godzilla and other things that convey horror:

        With a purposeful grimace and a Mongo-like flair
        He throws the spinning disk drives in the air!
        And he picks up a Vax and he throws it back down
        As he wades through the lab making terrible sounds!
        Helpless users with projects due
        Scream "My God!" as he stomps on the tape drives, too!

        Oh, no!  He says Unix runs too slow!  Go, go, DECzilla!
        Oh, yes!  He's gonna bring up VMS!  Go, go, DECzilla!"

* VMS is a trademark of Digital Equipment Corporation
* DECzilla is a trademark of Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of Death, Inc.
                -- Curtis Jackson

Speaking of love, one problem that recurs more and more frequently
these days, in books and plays and movies, is the inability of people
to communicate with the people they love; Husbands and wives who can't
communicate, children who can't communicate with their parents, and so
on.  And the characters in these books and plays and so on (and in real
life, I might add) spend hours bemoaning the fact that they can't
communicate.  I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very least
he can do is to Shut Up!
                -- Tom Lehrer, "That Was the Year that Was"

"Speed is subsittute fo accurancy."

Speer's 1st Law of Proofreading:
        The visibility of an error is inversely proportional to the
number of times you have looked at it.

Spelling is a lossed art.

Spend extra time on hobby.  Get plenty of rolling papers.

Spirtle, n.:
        The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in
your eye.
                -- Sniglets, "Rich Hall & Friends"

Spouse, n.:
        Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you
wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

"Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist
drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to pur'ee of bat guano; and the
greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who!  And I'll
take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!"
                -- Harlan Ellison