Freebsd Fortunes

The first Great Steward, Parrafin the Climber, was employed in King
Chloroplast's kitchen as second scullery boy when the old King met a
tragic death.  He apparently fell backward by accident on a dozen salad
forks.  Simultaneously the true heir, his son Carotene, mysteriously
fled the city, complaining of some sort of plot and a lot of
threatening notes left on his breakfast tray.  At the time, this looked
suspicious what with his father's death, and Carotene was suspected of
foul play.  Then the rest of the King's relatives began to drop dead
one after the other in an odd fashion.  Some were found strangled with
dishrags and some succumbed to food poisoning.  A few were found
drowned in the soup vats, and one was attacked by assailants unknown
and beaten to death with a pot roast.  At least three appear to have
thrown themselves backward on salad forks, perhaps in a noble gesture
of grief over the King's untimely end.  Finally there was no one left
in Minas Troney who was either eligible or willing to wear the accursed
crown, and the rule of Twodor was up for grabs.  The scullery slave
Parrafin bravely accepted the Stewardship of Twodor until that day when
a lineal descendant of Carotene's returns to reclaim his rightful
throne, conquer Twodor's enemies, and revamp the postal system.
                -- Harvard Lampoon, "Bored of the Rings"

The first myth of management is that it exists.  The second myth of
management is that success equals skill.
                -- Robert Heller

The first riddle I ever heard, one familiar to almost every Jewish
child, was propounded to me by my father:
        "What is it that hangs on the wall, is green, wet -- and
whistles?"
        I knit my brow and thought and thought, and in final perplexity
gave up.
        "A herring," said my father.
        "A herring," I echoed.  "A herring doesn't hang on the wall!"
        "So hang it there."
        "But a herring isn't green!"  I protested.
        "Paint it."
        "But a herring isn't wet."
        "If it's just painted it's still wet."
        "But -- " I sputtered, summoning all my outrage, "-- a herring
doesn't whistle!!"
        "Right, " smiled my father.  "I just put that in to make it
hard."
                -- Leo Rosten, "The Joys of Yiddish"

"The first rule of magic is simple.  Don't waste your time waving your
hands and hoping when a rock or a club will do."
                -- McCloctnik the Lucid

The First Rule of Program Optimization:
        Don't do it.

The Second Rule of Program Optimization (for experts only!):
        Don't do it yet.
                -- Michael Jackson

The first time, it's a KLUDGE!
The second, a trick.
Later, it's a well-established technique!
                -- Mike Broido, Intermetrics

The following quote is from page 4-27 of the MSCP Basic Disk Functions
Manual which is part of the UDA50 Programmers Doc Kit manuals:

As stated above, the host area of a disk is structured as a vector of
logical blocks.  From a performance viewpoint, however, it is more
appropriate to view the host area as a four dimensional hyper-cube, the
four dimensions being cylinder, group, track, and sector.
        . . .
Referring to our hyper-cube analogy, the set of potentially accessible
blocks form a line parallel to the track axis.  This line moves
parallel to the sector axis, wrapping around when it reaches the edge
of the hyper-cube.

The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by
people who want some.
                -- Dwight MacDonald

The fortune program is supported, in part, by user contributions and by
a major grant from the National Endowment for the Inanities.

"The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and
vinyl."
                -- Dave Barry