Freebsd Fortunes

Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations.

He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan,
then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open
market.

If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarries then he should
not accept of the Earth that which he refuses to give of himself.

Such a man would expect a pear of a peach tree.
Such a man would expect a stone to lay an egg.
Such a man would expect Sears to assemble a lawnmower.
                -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"

Then here's to the City of Boston,
The town of the cries and the groans.
Where the Cabots can't see the Kabotschniks,
And the Lowells won't speak to the Cohns.
                -- Franklin Pierce Adams

There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable,
and praiseworthy ...
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

There are many intelligent species in the universe.  They all own
cats.

There are no data that cannot be plotted on a straight line if the axis
are chosen correctly.

There are no games on this system.

There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the
existence of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any
marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat
engine and make some other part of hell comfortably cool.  This is
obviously impossible.
                                -- Richard Davisson

There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the
truth without lying.

There are really not many jobs that actually require a penis or a
vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone.
                -- Gloria Steinem

"There are some micro-organisms that exhibit characteristics of both
plants and animals.  When exposed to light they undergo photosynthesis;
and when the lights go out, they turn into animals.  But then again,
don't we all?"