Freebsd Fortunes

Absence makes the heart go wander.

Absent, adj.:
        Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed;
slandered.

Absentee, n.:
        A person with an income who has had the forethought to remove
himself from the sphere of exaction.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Abstainer, n.:
        A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a
pleasure.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Absurdity, n.:
        A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own
opinion.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics,
because the stakes are so low.
                -- Wallace Sayre

Accident, n.:
        A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of
body is better.

Accidents cause History.

If Sigismund Unbuckle had taken a walk in 1426 and met Wat Tyler, the
Peasant's Revolt would never have happened and the motor car would not
have been invented until 2026, which would have meant that all the oil
could have been used for lamps, thus saving the electric light bulb and
the whale, and nobody would have caught Moby Dick or Billy Budd.
                -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"

According to Arkansas law, Section 4761, Pope's Digest:  "No person
shall be permitted under any pretext whatever, to come nearer than
fifty feet of any door or window of any polling room, from the opening
of the polls until the completion of the count and the certification of
the returns."

According to Kentucky state law, every person must take a bath at least
once a year.