Freebsd Fortunes
fortune: 3336 - 3345 of 3566 from freebsd fortunes
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Freebsd Fortunes

Fortune: 3336 - 3345 of 3566 from Freebsd Fortunes

Freebsd Fortunes:  3336 of 3566

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a
year.  I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire
winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.
                -- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3337 of 3566

When I said "we", officer, I was referring to myself, the four young
ladies, and, of course, the goat.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3338 of 3566

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President.  Now
I'm beginning to believe it.
                -- Clarence Darrow
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3339 of 3566

When I was a kid I said to my father one afternoon, "Daddy, will you
take me to the zoo?" He answered, "If the zoo wants you let them come
and get you."
                -- Jerry Lewis
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3340 of 3566

"When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any
firearms with me.  I said, `Well, what do you need?'"
                -- Steven Wright
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3341 of 3566

When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into
the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
                -- Woody Allen
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3342 of 3566

When I was seven years old, I was once reprimanded by my mother for an
act of collective brutality in which I had been involved at school.  A
group of seven-year-olds had been teasing and tormenting a
six-year-old.  "It is always so," my mother said.  "You do things
together which not one of you would think of doing alone."  ...
Wherever one looks in the world of human organization, collective
responsibility brings a lowering of moral standards.  The military
establishment is an extreme case, an organization which seems to have
been expressly designed to make it possible for people to do things
together which nobody in his right mind would do alone.
                -- Freeman Dyson, "Weapons and Hope"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3343 of 3566

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened
or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I
cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to
go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
                -- Mark Twain
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3344 of 3566

When in doubt, do what the President does -- guess.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3345 of 3566

"When in doubt, tell the truth."
                -- Mark Twain
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