Freebsd Fortunes

College football is a game which would be much more interesting if the
faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if
the trustees played.  There would be a great increase in broken arms,
legs, and necks, and simultaneously an appreciable diminution in the
loss to humanity.
                -- H. L. Mencken

Colvard's Logical Premises:
        All probabilities are 50

.  Either a thing will happen or it
        won't.

Colvard's Unconscionable Commentary:
        This is especially true when dealing with someone you're
        attracted to.

Grelb's Commentary
        Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.

Come, every frustum longs to be a cone,
And every vector dreams of matrices.
Hark to the gentle gradient of the breeze:
It whispers of a more ergodic zone.
                -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"

Come, let us hasten to a higher plane,
Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn,
Their indices bedecked from one to n,
Commingled in an endless Markov chain!
                -- Stanislaw Lem, "Cyberiad"

Command, n.:
        Statement presented by a human and accepted by a computer in
such a manner as to make the human feel as if he is in control.

Commitment, n.:
        Commitment can be illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs.
The chicken was involved, the pig was committed.

Committee, n.:
        A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group
decide that nothing can be done.
                -- Fred Allen

Committee Rules:
        (1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
        (2) Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this
            stamps you as being wise.
        (3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the
            others.
        (4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
        (5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you
            popular -- it's what everyone is waiting for.

Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to
be appointed to do the work.