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Finding out what goes on in the C.I.A. is like performing acupuncture
on a rock.
-- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981
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Fine day to throw a party. Throw him as far as you can.
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Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.
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Functionality breeds Contempt.
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Finish the sentence below in 25 words or less:
"Love is what you feel just before you give someone a good ..."
Mail your answer along with the top half of your supervisor to:
P.O. Box 35
Baffled Greek, Michigan
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First, a few words about tools.
Basically, a tool is an object that enables you to take advantage of
the laws of physics and mechanics in such a way that you can seriously
injure yourself. Today, people tend to take tools for granted. If
you're ever walking down the street and you notice some people who look
particularly smug, the odds are that they are taking tools for
granted. If I were you, I'd walk right up and smack them in the face.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
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First Corollary of Taber's Second Law:
Machines that piss people off get murdered.
-- Pat Taber
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First Law of Bicycling:
No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the
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First Law of Procrastination:
Procrastination shortens the job and places the responsibility
for its termination on someone else (i.e., the authority who imposed
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First Law of Socio-Genetics:
Celibacy is not hereditary.