Freebsd Fortunes

I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar.

What a crock.  I could easily overemphasize the importance of good
grammar.  For example, I could say: "Bad grammar is the leading cause
of slow, painful death in North America," or "Without good grammar, the
United States would have lost World War II."
                -- Dave Barry, "An Utterly Absurd Look at Grammar"

"I can't complain, but sometimes I still do."
                -- Joe Walsh

"I can't decide whether to commit suicide or go bowling."
                -- Florence Henderson

I can't understand it.  I can't even understand the people who can
understand it.
                -- Queen Juliana of the Netherlands.

I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a
novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
                -- Fred Allen

I could dance till the cows come home.  On second thought, I'd rather
dance with the cows till you come home.
                -- Groucho Marx

"I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed.  Except perhaps
the time I found out that M&Ms really *do* melt in your hand ..."
                -- Peter Oakley

"I didn't know it was impossible when I did it."

I didn't like the play, but I saw it under adverse conditions.  The
curtain was up.

I do hate sums.  There is no greater mistake than to call arithmetic an
exact science.  There are permutations and aberrations discernible to
minds entirely noble like mine; subtle variations which ordinary
accountants fail to discover; hidden laws of number which it requires a
mind like mine to perceive.  For instance, if you add a sum from the
bottom up, and then again from the top down, the result is always
different.
                -- Mrs. La Touche (19th cent.)