Freebsd Fortunes

"I think the sky is blue because it's a shift from black through purple
to blue, and it has to do with where the light is.  You know, the
farther we get into darkness, and there's a shifting of color of light
into the blueness, and I think as you go farther and farther away from
the reflected light we have from the sun or the light that's bouncing
off this earth, uh, the darker it gets ... I think if you look at the
color scale, you start at black, move it through purple, move it on
out, it's the shifting of color.  We mentioned before about the stars
singing, and that's one of the effects of the shifting of colors."
                -- Pat Robertson, The 700 Club

I think the world would be a more peaceful place if people
could just keep their fingers out of the fortune files.
                -- Jordan K. Hubbard

I think we can all agree that there is not enough common courtesy shown
... HEY!  PAY ATTENTION WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU DAMMIT!  I said I think
we can all agree that there is not enough common courtesy shown today.
When we take the time to be courteous to each other, we find that we
are happier and less likely to engage in nuclear war.  This point was
driven home by the recent summit talks, where Nancy Reagan and Raisa
Gorbachev, each of whose husband thinks the other's husband is vermin,
were able to sit down at a high-level tea and engage in courteous
conversation ...
                -- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette"

"I thought you were trying to get into shape."
"I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle."

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in
twenty minutes.  It's about Russia.
                -- Woody Allen

I used to be an agnostic, but now I'm not so sure.

"I used to get high on life but lately I've built up a resistance."

"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."

"I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my
body.  Then I realized who was telling me this."
                -- Emo Phillips

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.  You couldn't park anywhere
near the place.
                -- Steven Wright