Freebsd Fortunes

If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure
can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly
develop.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
you.  This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
                -- Mark Twain

If you push the "extra ice" button on the soft drink vending machine,
you won't get any ice.  If you push the "no ice" button, you'll get
ice, but no cup.

If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage.  But
this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is
somehow enobled and none dare criticize it.

If you sit down at a poker game and don't see a sucker, get up.  You're
the sucker.

If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.

If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,
It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock.
        Or some joker who is slicker,
        Will trick you of your liquor,
If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
                -- Derek Bok, president of Harvard

If you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens
tomorrow!

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
payments.
                -- Earl Wilson