Freebsd Fortunes

If you took all the students that felt asleep in class and laid them
end to end, they'd be a lot more comfortable.
                -- "Graffiti in the Big Ten"

"If you understand what you're doing, you're not learning anything."
                -- A. L.

If you want divine justice, die.
                -- Nick Seldon

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people
he gave it to.
                -- Dorothy Parker

If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the
Constitution.  It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's
statecraft.  Instead, read selected portions of the Washington
telephone directory containing listings for all the organizations with
titles beginning with the word "National".
                -- George Will

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you say, talk in your sleep.

"If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some
memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it,
even if they don't know what it means."
                -- Walt Kelly, "The Pogo Party"

If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings -- including this one.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for
tomorrow morning, sleep late.
                -- Henny Youngman

If you're happy, you're successful.