Freebsd Fortunes

In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground
with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries.  Anthropologists call
this a form of primitive self-expression.  In America we call it golf.

In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that's just one
of the risks he takes.
                -- Adlai Stevenson

In America today ... we have Woody Allen, whose humor has become so
sophisticated that nobody gets it any more except Mia Farrow.  All
those who think Mia Farrow should go back to making movies where the
devil gets her pregnant and Woody Allen should go back to dressing up
as a human sperm, please raise your hands.  Thank you.
                -- Dave Barry, "Why Humor is Funny"

In an organization, each person rises to the level of his own
incompetency
                -- The Peter Principle

In any formula, constants (especially those obtained from handbooks)
are to be treated as variables.

"In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of
nations -- it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir."
                -- Stuart Keate

In Blythe, California, a city ordinance declares that a person must own
at least two cows before he can wear cowboy boots in public.

In Boston, it is illegal to hold frog-jumping contests in nightclubs.

In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling against prayer in schools
will be temporarily canceled.

In case of injury notify your superior immediately.  He'll kiss it and
make it better.