Freebsd Fortunes

In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last
resort of the scoundrel.  With all due respect to an enlightened but
inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

In English, every word can be verbed.  Would that it were so in our
programming languages.

In Greene, New York, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on
the sidewalks when a concert is on.

In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come
into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish
between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which
will only make it mushy.
                -- Mark Twain

In Lexington, Kentucky, it's illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your
pocket.

In Lowes Crossroads, Delaware, it is a violation of local law for any
pilot or passenger to carry an ice cream cone in their pocket while
either flying or waiting to board a plane.

In Memphis, Tennessee, it is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless
there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red
flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.

In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as
to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the
speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00.

"In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the
universe."
                -- Carl Sagan, Cosmos

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government,
intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from
the cares of office.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"