Freebsd Fortunes

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
                -- Lily Tomlin

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called
upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
                -- Oscar Wilde

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the
only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
                -- Wernher von Braun

Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
                -- Mark Twain

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the
victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
                -- Samuel Butler

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the
victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
                -- Samuel Butler (1835-1902)

Man, n.:
        An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks
he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.  His chief
occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which,
however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole
habitable earth and Canada.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it
is an enemy.
                -- Albert Einstein

Mandrell: "You know what I think?"
Doctor:   "Ah, ah that's a catch question. With a brain your size you
          don't think, right?"
                -- Dr. Who

Mankind's yearning to engage in sports is older than recorded history,
dating back to the time millions of years ago, when the first primitive
man picked up a crude club and a round rock, tossed the rock into the
air, and whomped the club into the sloping forehead of the first
primitive umpire.

What inner force drove this first athlete?  Your guess is as good as
mine.  Better, probably, because you haven't had four beers.
                -- Dave Barry, "Sports is a Drag"