Freebsd Fortunes

Most people can't understand how others can blow their noses differently
than they do.
                -- Turgenev

Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.
                -- Frank Zappa

Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.
                -- Arnold Bennett

Mother is the invention of necessity.

Mother told me to be good, but she's been wrong before.

Mr. Cole's Axiom:
        The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the
population is growing.

"Multiply in your head" (ordered the compassionate Dr. Adams)
"365,365,365,365,365,365 by 365,365,365,365,365,365.  He [ten-year-old
Truman Henry Safford] flew around the room like a top, pulled his
pantaloons over the tops of his boots, bit his hands, rolled his eyes
in their sockets, sometimes smiling and talking, and then seeming to be
in an agony, until, in not more than one minute, said he,
133,491,850,208,566,925,016,658,299,941,583,225!"  An electronic
computer might do the job a little faster but it wouldn't be as much
fun to watch.
                -- James R. Newman (The World of Mathematics)

Murphy's Discovery:
        Do you know Presidents talk to the country the way men talk to
women?  They say, "Trust me, go all the way with me, and everything
will be all right."  And what happens?  Nine months later, you're in
trouble!

Murphy's Law is recursive.  Washing your car to make it rain doesn't
work.

Murphy's Law of Research:
        Enough research will tend to support your theory.