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"Now is the time for all good men to come to."
-- Walt Kelly
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Now that you've read Fortune's diet truths, you'll be prepared the next
time some housewife or boutique-owner-turned-diet-expert appears on TV
to plug her latest book. And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for
eating coffee cake while listening to her exhortations, ask yourself
the following questions:
(1) Do I dare trust a person who actually considers alfalfa sprouts a
(2) Was the author's sole motive in writing this book to get rich
exploiting the forlorn hopes of chubby people like me?
(3) Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as
prescribed ... without French-fried onion rings, pizza with
double cheese, or the occasional Mai-Tai? (Remember, living
right doesn't really make you live longer, it just *seems* like
That, and another piece of coffee cake, should do the trick.
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"Now the Lord God planted a garden East of Whittier in a place called
Yorba Linda, and out of the ground he made to grow orange trees that
were good for food and the fruits thereof he labeled SUNKIST ..."
-- "The Begatting of a President"
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"Now this is a totally brain damaged algorithm. Gag me with a
-- P. Buhr, Computer Science 354
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[Nuclear war] ... may not be desirable.
-- Edwin Meese III
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"Nuclear war can ruin your whole compile."
-- Karl Lehenbauer
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"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of
normal routines, for children and adults alike."
-- Willard F. Libby, "You *Can* Survive Atomic Attack"
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"Nuclear war would really set back cable."
-- Ted Turner
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Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.
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(null cookie; hope that's ok)