Freebsd Fortunes

"Now is the time for all good men to come to."
                -- Walt Kelly

Now that you've read Fortune's diet truths, you'll be prepared the next
time some housewife or boutique-owner-turned-diet-expert appears on TV
to plug her latest book.  And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for
eating coffee cake while listening to her exhortations, ask yourself
the following questions:

(1) Do I dare trust a person who actually considers alfalfa sprouts a
    food?
(2) Was the author's sole motive in writing this book to get rich
    exploiting the forlorn hopes of chubby people like me?
(3) Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as
    prescribed ... without French-fried onion rings, pizza with
    double cheese, or the occasional Mai-Tai?  (Remember, living
    right doesn't really make you live longer, it just *seems* like
    longer.)

That, and another piece of coffee cake, should do the trick.

"Now the Lord God planted a garden East of Whittier in a place called
Yorba Linda, and out of the ground he made to grow orange trees that
were good for food and the fruits thereof he labeled SUNKIST ..."
                -- "The Begatting of a President"

"Now this is a totally brain damaged algorithm.  Gag me with a
smurfette."
                -- P. Buhr, Computer Science 354

[Nuclear war] ... may not be desirable.
                -- Edwin Meese III

"Nuclear war can ruin your whole compile."
                -- Karl Lehenbauer

"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of
normal routines, for children and adults alike."
                -- Willard F. Libby, "You *Can* Survive Atomic Attack"

"Nuclear war would really set back cable."
                -- Ted Turner

Nudists are people who wear one-button suits.

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