Freebsd Fortunes

Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were
forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.
                -- W. C. Fields, "My Little Chickadee"

Once, adv.:
        Enough.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that
each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his
choice.

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians
called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka"
and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank.  People
passing each other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy
Hanukka!" or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"
                -- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"

Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict,
Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease".
Disraeli replied, "That all depends upon whether I embrace your
principals or your mistress".

Once Law was sitting on the bench
        And Mercy knelt a-weeping.
"Clear out!" he cried, "disordered wench!
        Nor come before me creeping.
Upon you knees if you appear,
'Tis plain you have no standing here."

Then Justice came.  His Honor cried:
        "YOUR states? -- Devil seize you!"
"Amica curiae," she replied --
        "Friend of the court, so please you."
"Begone!" he shouted -- "There's the door --
I never saw your face before!"
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human
beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by
side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them
which makes it possible for each to see each other whole against the
sky.
                -- Rainer Rilke

Once upon a time, when I was training to be a mathematician, a group of
us bright young students taking number theory discovered the names of
the smaller prime numbers.

2:  The Odd Prime --
        It's the only even prime, therefore it's odd.  QED.
3:  The True Prime --
        Lewis Carroll: "If I tell you three times, it's true."
31: The Arbitrary Prime --
        Determined by unanimous unvote.  We needed an arbitrary prime
        in case the prof asked for one, and so had an election.  91
        received the most votes (well, it *looks* prime) and 3+4i the
        next most.  However, 31 was the only candidate to receive none
        at all.

Since the composite numbers are formed from primes, their qualities are
derived from those primes.  So, for instance, the number 6 is "odd but
true", while the powers of 2 are all extremely odd numbers.

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least
somebody's listening.
                -- Franklin P. Jones

"One basic notion underlying Usenet is that it is a cooperative."

Having been on USENET for going on ten years, I disagree with this.
The basic notion underlying USENET is the flame.
                -- Chuq Von Rospach

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs -- but it is amazing
how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.
                -- Professor Charles P. Issawi