Freebsd Fortunes

Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas"
until you are told that those rooms are "punched out".  Once punched
out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas,
and such.
                -- N. Meyrowitz

Please, won't somebody tell me what diddie-wa-diddie means?

PLUNDERER'S THEME
(to Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius)

Pillage, rape, and loot and burn, but all in moderation.
If you do the things we say, then you'll soon rule the nation.
Kill your foes and enemies and then kill your relations.
Pillage, rape, and loot and burn, but all in moderation.

Pohl's law:
        Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.

Police: Good evening, are you the host?
Host:   No.
Police: We've been getting complaints about this party.
Host:   About the drugs?
Police: No.
Host:   About the guns, then?  Is somebody complaining about the guns?
Police: No, the noise.
Host:   Oh, the noise.  Well that makes sense because there are no guns
        or drugs here.  (An enormous explosion is heard in the
        background.)  Or fireworks.  Who's complaining about the noise?
        The neighbors?
Police: No, the neighbors fled inland hours ago.  Most of the recent
        complaints have come from Pittsburgh.  Do you think you could
        ask the host to quiet things down?
Host:   No Problem.  (At this point, a Volkswagon bug with primitive
        religious symbols drawn on the doors emerges from the living
        room and roars down the hall, past the police and onto the
        lawn, where it smashes into a tree.  Eight guests tumble out
        onto the grass, moaning.)  See?  Things are starting to wind
        down.

Political T.V. commercials prove one thing: some candidates can tell
all their good points and qualifications in just 30 seconds.

Politician, n.:
        An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of
organized society is reared.  When he wriggles, he mistakes the
agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice.  As compared
with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Politician, n.:
        From the Greek "poly" ("many") and the French "tete" ("head" or
"face," as in "tete-a-tete": head to head or face to face).  Hence
"polytetien", a person of two or more faces.
                -- Martin Pitt

Politicians are the same all over.  They promise to build a bridge even
where there is no river.
                -- Nikita Khrushchev

Politics is like coaching a football team.  you have to be smart enough
to understand the game but not smart enough to lose interest.