Freebsd Fortunes

A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power
off and on.  Knight, seeing what the student was doing spoke sternly:
"You can not fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no
understanding of what is going wrong."  Knight turned the machine off
and on.  The machine worked.

A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.

A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space.
                -- Gloria Steinem

A penny saved is ridiculous.

A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
                -- George Wald

A pig is a jolly companion,
Boar, sow, barrow, or gilt --
A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale,
Though mountains may topple and tilt.
When they've blackballed, bamboozled, and burned you,
When they've turned on you, Tory and Whig,
Though you may be thrown over by Tabby and Rover,
You'll never go wrong with a pig, a pig,
You'll never go wrong with a pig!
                -- Thomas Pynchon, "Gravity's Rainbow"

"A power so great, it can only be used for Good or Evil!"
                -- Firesign Theatre, "The Giant Rat of Summatra"

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master?

And he answered:

It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence.

It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs.

It is that which has caused nations to build byways from City to City
upon which carts and coaches pass, and alongside which inns have come
to be built to stave off Hunger, Thirst and Weariness.

And that is Fate?  said the priest.

Fate ... I thought you said Freight, responded the Master.

That's all right, said the priest.  I wanted to know what Freight was
too.
                -- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.