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Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.
-- Dave Butler
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Remember, drive defensively! And of course, the best defense is a good
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Remember, even if you win the rat race -- you're still a rat.
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Remember that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be
worse in Cleveland.
-- National Lampoon, "Deteriorata"
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Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.
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Man is the highest animal. Man does the classifying.
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A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a
tempest of words.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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REPORTER: Senator, are you for or against the MX missile system?
SENATOR: Bob, the MX missile system reminds me of an old saying that
the country folk in my state like to say. It goes like this: "You can
carry a pig for six miles, but if you set it down it might run away."
I have no idea why the country folk say this. Maybe there's some kind
of chemical pollutant in their drinking water. That is why I pledge to
do all that I can to protect the environment of this great nation of
ours, and put prayer back in the schools, where it belongs. What we
need is jobs, not empty promises. I realize I'm risking my political
career be being so outspoken on a sensitive issue such as the MX, but
that's just the kind of straight-talking honest person I am, and I
can't help it.
-- Dave Barry, "On Presidential Politics"
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Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi): Mr Gandhi, what do you think of Western
Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea.
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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher von Braun