Freebsd Fortunes
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May 28, 2017
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Freebsd Fortunes

Fortune: 2501 - 2510 of 3566 from Freebsd Fortunes

Freebsd Fortunes:  2501 of 3566

Rule of Defactualization:
        Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  2502 of 3566

Rule of Feline Frustration:
        When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly
content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  2503 of 3566

Rule of the Great:
        When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep
thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  2504 of 3566

Rules:
        (1)  The boss is always right.
        (2)  When the boss is wrong, refer to rule 1.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  2505 of 3566

Rules for Academic Deans:
        (1)  HIDE!!!!
        (2)  If they find you, LIE!!!!
                -- Father Damian C. Fandal
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  2506 of 3566

Rules for driving in New York:
        (1) Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
        (2) You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers
            on.
        (3) A red light means the next six cars may go through the
            intersection.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  2507 of 3566

RULES OF EATING -- THE BRONX DIETER'S CREED
        (1)  Never eat on an empty stomach.
        (2)  Never leave the table hungry.
        (3)  When traveling, never leave a country hungry.
        (4)  Enjoy your food.
        (5)  Enjoy your companion's food.
        (6)  Really taste your food.  It may take several portions to
             accomplish this, especially if subtly seasoned.
        (7)  Really feel your food.  Texture is important.  Compare,
             for example, the texture of a turnip to that of a
             brownie.  Which feels better against your cheeks?
        (8)  Never eat between snacks, unless it's a meal.
        (9)  Don't feel you must finish everything on your plate.  You
             can always eat it later.
        (10) Avoid any wine with a childproof cap.
        (11) Avoid blue food.
                -- Richard Smit, "The Bronx Diet"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  2508 of 3566

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
        You are optimistic and enthusiastic.  You have a reckless
        tendency to rely on luck since you lack talent.  The majority
        of Sagittarians are drunks or dope fiends or both.  People
        laugh at you a great deal.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  2509 of 3566

San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.
                -- Herb Caen
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  2510 of 3566

San Francisco, n.:
        Marcel Proust editing an issue of Penthouse.
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