Freebsd Fortunes

"So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple
pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops
its head into the shop. "What! no soap?"  So he died, and she very
imprudently married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies,
and the Grand Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top,
and they all fell to playing the game of catch as catch can, till the
gunpowder ran out at the heels of their boots."
                -- Samuel Foote

So, what's with this guy Gideon, anyway?  And why can't he ever
remember his Bible?

Sodd's Second Law:
        Sooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is
bound to occur.

Software, n.:
        Formal evening attire for female computer analysts.

Some don't prefer the pursuit of happiness to the happiness of pursuit.

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
                -- Ed Howe

Some of you ... may have decided that, this year, you're going to
celebrate it the old-fashioned way, with your family sitting around
stringing cranberries and exchanging humble, handmade gifts, like on
"The Waltons".  Well, you can forget it.  If everybody pulled that kind
of subversive stunt, the economy would collapse overnight.  The
government would have to intervene: it would form a cabinet-level
Department of Holiday Gift-Giving, which would spend billions and
billions of tax dollars to buy Barbie dolls and electronic games, which
it would drop on the populace from Air Force jets, killing and maiming
thousands.  So, for the good of the nation, you should go along with
the Holiday Program.  This means you should get a large sum of money
and go to a mall.
                -- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"

Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some
people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
                -- Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"

Some people have a way about them that seems to say: "If I have only
one life to live, let me live it as a jerk."

Some people in this department wouldn't recognize subtlety if it hit
them on the head.