Freebsd Fortunes

Software, n.:
        Formal evening attire for female computer analysts.

Some don't prefer the pursuit of happiness to the happiness of pursuit.

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
                -- Ed Howe

Some of you ... may have decided that, this year, you're going to
celebrate it the old-fashioned way, with your family sitting around
stringing cranberries and exchanging humble, handmade gifts, like on
"The Waltons".  Well, you can forget it.  If everybody pulled that kind
of subversive stunt, the economy would collapse overnight.  The
government would have to intervene: it would form a cabinet-level
Department of Holiday Gift-Giving, which would spend billions and
billions of tax dollars to buy Barbie dolls and electronic games, which
it would drop on the populace from Air Force jets, killing and maiming
thousands.  So, for the good of the nation, you should go along with
the Holiday Program.  This means you should get a large sum of money
and go to a mall.
                -- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"

Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some
people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
                -- Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"

Some people have a way about them that seems to say: "If I have only
one life to live, let me live it as a jerk."

Some people in this department wouldn't recognize subtlety if it hit
them on the head.

Some people live life in the fast lane.  You're in oncoming traffic.

Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when
you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even
worse.
                -- Avery

Some points to remember [about animals]:

(1) Don't go to sleep under big animals, e.g., elephants, rhinoceri,
    hippopotamuses;
(2) Don't put animals with sharp teeth or poisonous fangs down the
    front of your clothes;
(3) Don't pat certain animals, e.g., crocodiles and scorpions or dogs
    you have just kicked.
                -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"