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Dec 17, 2017
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Freebsd Fortunes

Fortune: 261 - 270 of 3566 from Freebsd Fortunes

Freebsd Fortunes:  261 of 3566

A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be
too heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which
was intended for her preservation.
                -- Colton
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  262 of 3566

A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such comments as
"you could blow it in" may be blown in.  This rule does not apply if
the ball is more than three inches from the hole, because no one wants
to make a travesty of the game.
                -- Donald A. Metz
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  263 of 3566

"A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today.  The results blacked
out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon."
                -- Steel City News
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  264 of 3566

"A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives."
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  265 of 3566

A reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying,
"Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny
bits, in thy mercy."  And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the
lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and
breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the
Holy Pin.  Then thou must count to three.  Three shall be the number of
the counting and the number of the counting shall be three.  Four shalt
thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then
proceedeth to three.  Five is right out.  Once the number three, being
the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand
Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight,
shall snuff it."
                -- Monty Python, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  266 of 3566

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices
that the system works.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  267 of 3566

A real person has two reasons for doing anything ... a good reason and
the real reason.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  268 of 3566

A recent study has found that concentrating on difficult off-screen
objects, such as the faces of loved ones, causes eye strain in computer
scientists.  Researchers into the phenomenon cite the added
concentration needed to "make sense" of such unnatural three
dimensional objects ...
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  269 of 3566

A Riverside, California, health ordinance states that two persons may
not kiss each other without first wiping their lips with carbolized
rosewater.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  270 of 3566

A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man
contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
                -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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