Freebsd Fortunes

The answer is that libdialog, the library on which sysinstall depends
for these menus, is genuinely evil.  It is the unloved, satanic
bastard child of multiple parents and torturing users like yourself
constitutes the only joy in life it has left.  Its source files are
all chmod'd 0666 and dire README files warn against trespass by
neophyte programmers.  It is the 7th gate of Hell.  It makes the baby
Jesus cry.  Were libdialog given anthropomorphic representation, it
would be promptly burnt at the stake and its ashes scattered in the
desert, to be then doused with holy water from altitude by
fire-fighting aircraft.

                -- Jordan K. Hubbard on the evils of libdialog

The Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that the Arkansas
River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little
Rock.

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion.
Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed
and color, but also on ability.
                -- T. Lehrer

The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.
                -- Bill Murray

The assertion that "all men are created equal" was of no practical use
in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the
Declaration not for that, but for future use.
                --  Abraham Lincoln

The average income of the modern teenager is about 2 a.m.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the
average man can see better than he can think.

"The bad reputation UNIX has gotten is totally undeserved, laid on by
people who don't understand, who have not gotten in there and tried
anything."
                -- Jim Joyce, owner of Jim Joyce's UNIX Bookstore

The basic idea behind malls is that they are more convenient than
cities.  Cities contain streets, which are dangerous and crowded and
difficult to park in.  Malls, on the other hand, have parking lots,
which are also dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in, but --
here is the big difference -- in mall parking lots, THERE ARE NO
RULES.  You're allowed to do anything.  You can drive as fast as you
want in any direction you want.  I was once driving in a mall parking
lot when my car was struck by a pickup truck being driven backward by a
squat man with a tattoo that said "Charlie" on his forearm, who got out
and explained to me, in great detail, why the accident was my fault,
his reasoning being that he was violent and muscular, whereas I was
neither.  This kind of reasoning is legally valid in mall parking
lots.
                -- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"

The basic menu item, in fact the ONLY menu item, would be a food unit
called the "patty," consisting of -- this would be guaranteed in
writing -- "100 percent animal matter of some kind."  All patties would
be heated up and then cooled back down in electronic devices
immediately before serving.  The Breakfast Patty would be a patty on a
bun with lettuce, tomato, onion, egg, Ba-Ko-Bits, Cheez Whiz, a Special
Sauce made by pouring ketchup out of a bottle and a little slip of
paper stating: "Inspected by Number 12".  The Lunch or Dinner Patty
would be any Breakfast Patties that didn't get sold in the morning.
The Seafood Lover's Patty would be any patties that were starting to
emit a serious aroma.  Patties that were too rank even to be Seafood
Lover's Patties would be compressed into wads and sold as "Nuggets."
                -- Dave Barry, "'Mister Mediocre' Restaurants"