Freebsd Fortunes

A UNIX saleslady, Lenore,
Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more.
        She found a good way
        To combine work and play:
She sells C shells by the seashore.

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature
replaces it with.
                -- Tennessee Williams

A very intelligent turtle
Found programming UNIX a hurdle
        The system, you see,
        Ran as slow as did he,
And that's not saying much for the turtle.

A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without
getting nervous.

"A witty saying proves nothing."
                -- Voltaire

A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets
people's attention.

"A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are reticent to
admit, let alone discuss with prospective clients.  Still, the fact
remains that there are certain objects, and people, that are, for one
reason or another, completely immune to any direct magical spell.  It
is for this group of beings that the magician learns the subtleties of
using indirect spells.  It also does no harm, in dealing with these
matters, to carry a large club near your person at all times."
                -- The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume VIII

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe
in God.

A.A.A.A.A.:
        An organization for drunks who drive

AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkk!!!!!!!!!
You brute!  Knock before entering a ladies room!