Freebsd Fortunes

The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to
constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every
appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA
statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant.  This
also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change.
                -- FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers

The primary requisite for any new tax law is for it to exempt enough
voters to win the next election.

The primary theme of SoupCon is communication.  The acronym "LEO"
represents the secondary theme:

        Law Enforcement Officials

The overall theme of SoupCon shall be:

        Avoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the
stupidity of your action.

The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with.
Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil
using other animals; they've piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle
Eastern countries on top of cows, raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats,
etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous
bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle Eastern persons.  None
of the animals turned into oil, although most of the laboratory rats
developed cancer.
                -- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go
to erase it.
                -- Glaser and Way

The problem with engineers is that they tend to cheat in order to get
results.

The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy
problems in order to get results.

The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy
problems in order to get results.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be
pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
                -- Elizabeth Taylor

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

The Psblurtex is an 18-inch long anaconda that hides in the gentlemen's
outfitting departments of Amazonian stores and is often bought by
mistake since its colors are those of the London Reform Club.  Once
tied around its victim's neck, it strangles him gently and then claims
the insurance before running off to Germany where it lives in hiding.
                -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"