Freebsd Fortunes

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.
                -- Lenny Bruce

The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility.  And
vice versa.

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.
                -- Ogden Nash

"The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and
stupidity."

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more
annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
                -- Oscar Wilde

The United States also has its native Fascists who say that they are
"100 percent American"...
                -- U. S. Army (1945)

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to
everybody and still nobody likes him.
                -- Jim Samuels

The universe does not have laws -- it has habits, and habits can be
broken.

The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination -- but the
combination is locked up in the safe.
                -- Peter DeVries

The University of California Bears announced the signing of Reggie
Philbin to a letter of intent to attend Cal next Fall.  Philbin is said
to make up for no talent by cheating well.  Says Philbin of his
decision to attend Cal, "I'm in it for the free ride."