Freebsd Fortunes

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more
annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
                -- Oscar Wilde

The United States also has its native Fascists who say that they are
"100 percent American"...
                -- U. S. Army (1945)

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to
everybody and still nobody likes him.
                -- Jim Samuels

The universe does not have laws -- it has habits, and habits can be
broken.

The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination -- but the
combination is locked up in the safe.
                -- Peter DeVries

The University of California Bears announced the signing of Reggie
Philbin to a letter of intent to attend Cal next Fall.  Philbin is said
to make up for no talent by cheating well.  Says Philbin of his
decision to attend Cal, "I'm in it for the free ride."

The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and
religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging
from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its
yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobbledygook than the rest of the
world put together.
                -- Sir Peter Medawar

The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes
the worst cigars.
                -- H. L. Mencken

The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid
prejudice.
                -- Mark Twain

The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common.
Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts
to fit their views ... which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to
be one of the facts that needs altering.
                -- Dr. Who, "Face of Evil"