Freebsd Fortunes

There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable,
and praiseworthy ...
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

There are many intelligent species in the universe.  They all own
cats.

There are no data that cannot be plotted on a straight line if the axis
are chosen correctly.

There are no games on this system.

There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the
existence of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any
marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat
engine and make some other part of hell comfortably cool.  This is
obviously impossible.
                                -- Richard Davisson

There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the
truth without lying.

There are really not many jobs that actually require a penis or a
vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone.
                -- Gloria Steinem

"There are some micro-organisms that exhibit characteristics of both
plants and animals.  When exposed to light they undergo photosynthesis;
and when the lights go out, they turn into animals.  But then again,
don't we all?"

"There are those who claim that magic is like the tide; that it swells
and fades over the surface of the earth, collecting in concentrated
pools here and there, almost disappearing from other spots, leaving
them parched for wonder.  There are also those who believe that if you
stick your fingers up your nose and blow, it will increase your
intelligence."
                -- The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume VII

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
                -- Disraeli