Freebsd Fortunes

"Adopted kids are such a pain -- you have to teach them how to look
like you ..."
                -- Gilda Radner

Adore, v.:
        To venerate expectantly.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Adult, n.:
        One old enough to know better.

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest
way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.
                -- Sinclair Lewis

Advice to young men: Be ascetic, and if you can't be ascetic,
then at least be aseptic.

After a few boring years, socially meaningful rock 'n' roll died out.
It was replaced by disco, which offers no guidance to any form of life
more advanced than the lichen family.
                -- Dave Barry, "Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly
                   Do"

After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.

After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party?  Surely not
for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have
simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
                -- P. J. O'Rourke

After an instrument has been assembled, extra components will be found
on the bench.

After [Benjamin] Franklin came a herd of Electrical Pioneers whose
names have become part of our electrical terminology: Myron Volt, Mary
Louise Amp, James Watt, Bob Transformer, etc.  These pioneers conducted
many important electrical experiments.  For example, in 1780 Luigi
Galvani discovered (this is the truth) that when he attached two
different kinds of metal to the leg of a frog, an electrical current
developed and the frog's leg kicked, even though it was no longer
attached to the frog, which was dead anyway.  Galvani's discovery led
to enormous advances in the field of amphibian medicine.  Today,
skilled veterinary surgeons can take a frog that has been seriously
injured or killed, implant pieces of metal in its muscles, and watch it
hop back into the pond just like a normal frog, except for the fact
that it sinks like a stone.
                -- Dave Barry, "What is Electricity?"