Freebsd Fortunes

When you try to make an impression, the chances are that is the
impression you will make.

When you're away, I'm restless, lonely,
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
Here's the rub, my darling dear
I feel the same when you are near.
                -- Samuel Hoffenstein, "When You're Away"

When you're not looking at it, this fortune is written in FORTRAN.

Whenever anyone says, "theoretically", they really mean, "not really".
                -- Dave Parnas

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to
see it tried on him personally.
                -- A. Lincoln

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
                -- Oscar Wilde

Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last
you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his
Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
                -- Mark Twain
                   "Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court"

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time
to reform.
                -- Mark Twain

WHERE CAN THE MATTER BE

        Oh, dear, where can the matter be
        When it's converted to energy?
        There is a slight loss of parity.
        Johnny's so long at the fair.

Where humor is concerned there are no standards -- no one can say what
is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
                -- John Kenneth Galbraith