Freebsd Fortunes

"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
        And make errors few people could bear;
You complain about everyone's English but yours --
        Do you really think this is quite fair?"

"I make lots of mistakes," Father William declared,
        "But my stature these days is so great
That no critic can hurt me -- I've got them all scared,
        And to stop me it's now far too late."

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
        That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose --
        What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
        Said his father.  "Don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
        Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!"
                -- Lewis Carroll

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

You are the only person to ever get this message.

You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading
this sort of trash.

You buttered your bread, now lie in it.

You can always tell the Christmas season is here when you start getting
incredibly dense, tinfoil-and-ribbon- wrapped lumps in the mail.
Fruitcakes make ideal gifts because the Postal Service has been unable
to find a way to damage them.  They last forever, largely because
nobody ever eats them.  In fact, many smart people save the fruitcakes
they receive and send them back to the original givers the next year;
some fruitcakes have been passed back and forth for hundreds of years.

The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then
pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet.  Be sure to wear
safety glasses.
                -- Dave Barry, "Simple, Homespun Gifts"

"You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it
doesn't dim the lights when you turn it on."
                -- Hepler, Systems Design 182

You can create your own opportunities this week.  Blackmail a senior
executive.

"You can do this in a number of ways.  IBM chose to do all of them.
Why do you find that funny?"
                -- D. Taylor, Computer Science 350