Freebsd Fortunes

You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading
this sort of trash.

You buttered your bread, now lie in it.

You can always tell the Christmas season is here when you start getting
incredibly dense, tinfoil-and-ribbon- wrapped lumps in the mail.
Fruitcakes make ideal gifts because the Postal Service has been unable
to find a way to damage them.  They last forever, largely because
nobody ever eats them.  In fact, many smart people save the fruitcakes
they receive and send them back to the original givers the next year;
some fruitcakes have been passed back and forth for hundreds of years.

The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then
pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet.  Be sure to wear
safety glasses.
                -- Dave Barry, "Simple, Homespun Gifts"

"You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it
doesn't dim the lights when you turn it on."
                -- Hepler, Systems Design 182

You can create your own opportunities this week.  Blackmail a senior
executive.

"You can do this in a number of ways.  IBM chose to do all of them.
Why do you find that funny?"
                -- D. Taylor, Computer Science 350

You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you
can with just a kind word.
                -- Bumper Sticker

You can learn many things from children.  How much patience you have,
for instance.
                -- Franklin P. Jones

You can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular.

You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting his attitude on
the continuing viability of FORTRAN.
                -- Alan Perlis