Freebsd Fortunes

All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent
upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a
visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is
informing, stimulating and ennobling.
                -- H. L. Mencken

Alliance, n.:
        In international politics, the union of two thieves who have
their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pocket that they cannot
separately plunder a third.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Alone, adj.:
        In bad company.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight
Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
                -- Dave Barry

Although the moon is smaller than the earth, it is farther away.

Although we modern persons tend to take our electric lights, radios,
mixers, etc., for granted, hundreds of years ago people did not have
any of these things, which is just as well because there was no place
to plug them in.  Then along came the first Electrical Pioneer,
Benjamin Franklin, who flew a kite in a lighting storm and received a
serious electrical shock.  This proved that lighting was powered by the
same force as carpets, but it also damaged Franklin's brain so severely
that he started speaking only in incomprehensible maxims, such as "A
penny saved is a penny earned."  Eventually he had to be given a job
running the post office.
                -- Dave Barry, "What is Electricity?"

Although written many years ago, Lady Chatterley's Lover has just been
reissued by the Grove Press, and this pictorial account of the
day-to-day life of an English gamekeeper is full of considerable
interest to outdoor minded readers, as it contains many passages on
pheasant-raising, the apprehending of poachers, ways to control vermin,
and other chores and duties of the professional gamekeeper.
Unfortunately, one is obliged to wade through many pages of extraneous
material in order to discover and savour those sidelights on the
management of a midland shooting estate, and in this reviewer's opinion
the book cannot take the place of J. R. Miller's "Practical
Gamekeeping."
                -- Ed Zern, "Field and Stream" (Nov. 1959)

Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid
back.

Always remember that you are unique.  Just like everyone else.

"Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing
that way."