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Any cook who swears in French.
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Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
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Chemistry is applied theology.
-- Augustus Stanley Owsley III
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Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire.
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Where the dead still vote ... early and often!
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Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #36:
Never ever ask the tough looking gentleman wearing El Rukn
headgear where he got his "pyramid powered pizza warmer".
-- Chicago Reader 3/27/81
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Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #84:
The CTA has complimentary pop-up timers available on request
for overheated passengers. When your timer pops up, the driver will
cheerfully baste you.
-- Chicago Reader 5/28/82
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Chicken Little only has to be right once.
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Chicken Little was right.
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Chicken Soup, n.:
An ancient miracle drug containing equal parts of aureomycin,
cocaine, interferon, and TLC. The only ailment chicken soup can't cure
is neurotic dependence on one's mother.
-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"