Freebsd Fortunes

        When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure
clarified your attitude toward him.  You have given a definite answer
to a definite problem.  For better or worse you have acted decisively.
        In a way, the next move is up to him.
                -- R. A. Lafferty

        "You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon
airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in
deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me
when I was young!"
        "Why, what did she tell you?"
        "I don't know, I didn't listen!"
                -- Douglas Adams, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

        YOU TOO CAN MAKE BIG MONEY IN THE EXCITING FIELD OF
                      PAPER SHUFFLING!

Mr. TAA of Muddle, Mass. says:  "Before I took this course I used to be
a lowly bit twiddler.  Now with what I learned at MIT Tech I feel
really important and can obfuscate and confuse with the best."

Mr. MARC had this to say:  "Ten short days ago all I could look forward
to was a dead-end job as a engineer.  Now I have a promising future and
make really big Zorkmids."

MIT Tech can't promise these fantastic results to everyone, but when
you earn your MDL degree from MIT Tech your future will be brighter.

                SEND FOR OUR FREE BROCHURE TODAY!

        You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the
Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the
parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.
                -- Sherlock Holmes

        Your home electrical system is basically a bunch of wires that
bring electricity into your home and take if back out before it has a
chance to kill you.  This is called a "circuit".  The most common home
electrical problem is when the circuit is broken by a "circuit
breaker"; this causes the electricity to back up in one of the wires
until it bursts out of an outlet in the form of sparks, which can
damage your carpet.  The best way to avoid broken circuits is to change
your fuses regularly.
        Another common problem is that the lights flicker.  This
sometimes means that your electrical system is inadequate, but more
often it means that your home is possessed by demons, in which case
you'll need to get a caulking gun and some caulking.  If you're not
sure whether your house is possessed, see "The Amityville Horror", a
fine documentary film based on an actual book.  Or call in a licensed
electrician, who is trained to spot the signs of demonic possession,
such as blood coming down the stairs, enormous cats on the dinette
table, etc.
                -- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"

      _
  _  /                            o
 /  | |                       o           o             o
 | | | |   _                    o    o                 o       o
 | _| |  /                  o                     o    o
  __  |  | |             o                           o
     | |  | |            ______   ~~~~              _____
     | |__/ |          / ___--\ ~~~             __/_______
     |  ___/          / --\  \    ___       <__  x x  __
     | |             / /\  \       ))           (  "  )
     | |     -------(---->>(@)--(@)-----------------< >-----------
     | |   //       | | //__________  /        ____)   (___      \
     | |  //      __|_|  ( --------- )      //// ______ /////     \
         //       |    (   ______  /      <<<< <>-----<<<<< /      \
        //       (     )                      / /         ` __     \
       //-------------------------------------------------------------\

Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels
start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and
then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the
music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.
                -- Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"

   n = ((n >>  1) & 0x55555555) | ((n <<  1) & 0xaaaaaaaa);
   n = ((n >>  2) & 0x33333333) | ((n <<  2) & 0xcccccccc);
   n = ((n >>  4) & 0x0f0f0f0f) | ((n <<  4) & 0xf0f0f0f0);
   n = ((n >>  8) & 0x00ff00ff) | ((n <<  8) & 0xff00ff00);
   n = ((n >> 16) & 0x0000ffff) | ((n << 16) & 0xffff0000);

                -- C code which reverses the bits in a word.

   n = (n & 0x55555555) + ((n & 0xaaaaaaaa) >> 1);
   n = (n & 0x33333333) + ((n & 0xcccccccc) >> 2);
   n = (n & 0x0f0f0f0f) + ((n & 0xf0f0f0f0) >> 4);
   n = (n & 0x00ff00ff) + ((n & 0xff00ff00) >> 8);
   n = (n & 0x0000ffff) + ((n & 0xffff0000) >> 16);

                -- C code which counts the bits in a word.

" ... I told my doctor I got all the exercise I needed being a
pallbearer for all my friends who run and do exercises!"
                -- Winston Churchill

... A booming voice says, "Wrong, cretin!", and you notice that you
have turned into a pile of dust.